Well, a Year's gone by

thats right..more than 365 days since my last post and boy has it been an adventure..first and foremost i got a tumblr, which i update regularly
i think until i really have down exactly if i want to keep this blogspot i will just randomly choose old posts from tumblr and place them here :) anyways..today was nice, we had a cool genealogy talk at church which really inspired me to do some (which im suppose to go to the temple with raul tomorrow for...hmmm) anywhoo..smack middle of the talk i realize id left my phone and my ipod in another classroom (cue slight panic attack) no worries my awesome sunday school teacher, Erumis (yes, thats his name) had it and it was all under control...after church i had an interview with my bishop in which he said "i have an indiscreet question" ...oh ok, cause thats not suppose to wig me out, "are you waiting for Ruben?" ....you mean Elder Gonzalez, President AƱazco? hmmmm....how did you manage to choose the one subject that has been... gnawing at my ankles all week? (zombie movie reference) 
"We still write to each other, and we really care for the other..but we're gonna see when he gets back, we've both changed a lot" ...ahhh the good ol' safe answer i give everybody who asks this quite indiscreet question indeed....whats worse is that today as i slipped my ramen noodles i thought about that first sunday after he gets back...they'll probably ask me to give a talk (no sarcasm intended...i go to a hispanic ward and apparently, culture wins religion in these instances) what am i suppose to do? a year ago since my last post..i was madly in love with a sweet boy who had just left for his mission...well its been a year and half since then and...well, the months have not gone in vain...i've tripped and learned a lot and..i suppose he has too (although he conveniently has angels to "lighten his load") i just...want to know whats right..if any of you have an answer, by all means, contribute :) he wants to get married and whether i do or dont it wont be happening any time soon, no worries...i know, i know.."you're only seventeen! why are you even thinking of marriage! you'll meet so many people!" well...thats easy to say..but my track record is pretty hideous...and..he is really good to me...but...im limiting myself..i know i am..by always having him in my life, even if "on the back-burner" ...i can't "replace" my love for him..i can't just..break up with him once i find somebody better..no, i have to..be an adult, and if i want to break up with him (which i would never want to but, it's whats "best for me", no?) i should break up with him...and then maybe i'd meet somebody new...sigh...i dont know..maybe i should stick to tumblr..i never write this much on there...Robyese.tumblr.com

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