Stop Messing with my Head!

Kim Korineck! My gender equality professor. I mean the class is super interesting, the title of this post is a bit misleading, maybe I should change it. What I've learned in the class...well what really blew my mind because they were things that were so simple and in my face and I never noticed them! 

*Sexuality isn't just a dual system-thingy! There are people that are Hermaphrodites, transgender, gays, lesbians and oh so many more, and it's not that they are these concepts that are impossible to reach, really think about it. It's just how they like things in their life, just like I don't like vegetables. Religiously of course I know that a man and a woman alone can procreate, which is one of the commandments of the Lord and an essential part of the plan. But that doesn't erase these people. It doesn't make them "untouchables", they're normal people who don't like chocolate! I know this is silly and these are things I've always said but this is the first time I fully understand. And really all the problems these people go through, I mean huge things but little ones too! Like transgender people who decide to change gender they have to change their name, social security, license, passport. What do they call themselves in public?

*I don't want my children to think they have to act a certain way, other than kind. Wait. No. Middle ground. I decided that if I buy vintage games for my kids it won't be a great problem. My sons will be encouraged to talk about their feelings, cry, will be allowed to play with baby dolls, kitchens and help the girls in the games. Encouraged to explore the arts (including dance) if they so choose. They will not however be encouraged to play dress-up (princess v. prince), play with barbies and wear my little pony glitter shirts - hear me out.They will be taught to open doors for women, pull out chairs, respect women, never hit women, and always treat them as daughters of a divine Heavenly Father. They will love musicals, dressing appropriately, manners (this will be a tough one till they're older, willing to negotiate), can like any color they like, be friends with people of any sexual orientation. They will learn to always pay for the girl but find the independent type more attractive.They will learn to be providers as well as nurturers, know that it will be their responsibility to go on missions and eventually find jobs that can support their family, they will be feminists and gentleman.

 My daughters will be taught to be strong women, play sports if they desire, be professionals someday, protect themselves, learn to fix a car, be independent and not require or rely on someone else's knowledge or wallet (male or female). They will be allowed to wrestle with the boys and play with dirt. They will learn to respect and love men who do share their feelings and do cry . They will be provided with options to serve missions and will be required to go on to higher learning. They will also however be delicate. They will be taught to cook and how to run a home. They will learn to always respect the priesthood. To respect everyone. They will know how to sew and how to punch a left hook. They will understand politics and economics and how to plan a wedding. They will know grace and they will know force. They will be taught their value and power to change hearts through their sensibilities. They will learn to trust their women's intuition and know to be proper. They will accept chivalry with humility and not fight it. They will appreciate a gentleman's courtesy and valor but not rely on it or ever need it. They will demand respect for their wits, and for their gender. They will know they are daughters of God, princesses, and will be taught to act accordingly. 

 My children will know and understand their roles but never be taught to hold their self-worth to it. 

*Also, holy moly. Before I get married I need to have a serious talk with my husband about how we plan to run a home. I KNOW, that's something that everybody already knows they will do prior to the nuptials but truly how many people do?! Who will be in charge of the finances? Who will clean? Who will cook? Who will work? Raise the kids? I know I want to be mostly a mother, but I've also always really wanted to be a professional (I know, I know, after the first time you have to leave your kids you will never want to again, that will definitely be me, but still, I need to know). I want to be a cardiothoracic surgeon, and, especially now dating Shmygor, I realized I've stopped talking about it. I don't want to take "the second-shift". What is that? This crazy book we're reading! The mother would was a professional (growing up her mother was very dependent on others) and the husband worked as well, she tried to share the housework and the raising their son but the husband honestly believed in his heart his "half" was providing for them, thus never spent time with his kid or did anything around the house. Ugh! It was wretched! I cannot begin to describe the horrors! He was horrible to her! In the end she feared divorce more than becoming her mother and ended up essentially lying to herself, that they were sharing the housework. NOT! Maybe if they had talked about it before marriage. I don't know. I guess these things don't really come out until you've lived with someone. 

Point is: I believe this class is actually making me more "feminine". It's scary. The more they talk about how women need to break these "gender roles" the more I realize that since my mother never made me fill them, I'm kind of curious about them! I want to have lots of babies. I want to teach my sons to take care of women and teach my daughters to be delicate. I want to cook for my husband. I want to be able to rely on my husband (gotta find a good man that fills that). I want to live on a farm and wear aprons and hang clothes on a line and have my husband come in all sweaty from working with the land. .HEEEEELLLLPPPP!!!!!!