I'm Not a Serious Gal

I'm really not, I try my very hardest in difficult situations to not make a joke, but it's nearly impossible for me, kinda ironic because I'm quite the drama queen. I also rarely speak about some of the serious stuff going on in my life, but, it might be able to help somebody. It might also be good for me to someday look back and see how I handled these situations.

  • My parents are getting divorced.
  • My best friend is gone and will be for another 18 months, give or take.
  • I'm pretty sure I'm going inactive.
  • My mother (whom I am incredibly dependent on and very close to) gets more and more mean/intolerant/unforgiving/loud every day.
  • I don't have a job.
  • I'm at a loss on what I want to major in.
  • I doubt I passed all my classes last semester, but am too scared to check.
  • My soul sister is busy with her own life.
this gets less depressing after the videos. pinky promise.
  • I'm pretty sure my boyfriend and I will either kill each other or break up before our anniversary. (probably from my own doing, or because I've driven him nuts - either consciously or subconsciously).
  • I don't have any family here.
  • I broke the phone I couldn't afford to pay service for.
  • I'm doing this thing where I isolate myself and start pushing people away.
  • Just realized this time around how self-destructive I am.
  • Every time I try to fix it, it gets worse.
  • I have nobody.
  • I have nothing.
  • I'm posting this on the Internet.
At this point I just want to run away, to somewhere new, where I would meet new people who would never have to find out how "difficult" I am. We'd be close enough to help each other move, but never to see each other cry. You know where sounds lovely as of late? Freakin' Oregon. All them pretty trees and that coast! Everybody there is living in a postcard (from the 90s). I would literally live in a little run down, minimalist, cheap apartment with my dog and take pictures of stuff, write, and be poor. Then at night get together with some friends and have some food, kinda like this bunch ---->

Except without all the tobacco and vegetables.

Other than that, they seem the perfect amount of isolated for me. Running away sounded like a great idea. Until the Avett Brothers came along on my Rhapsody playlist and ruined all my plans. How could such wonderful beings ruin such a superb plan? Listen to this little number:

Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos
...(Sidenote - so no, it wasn't about you, it was about me.)

Which is quite a shame, cause Oregon was seeming quite fabulous, and possible! But I don't personally enjoy a moper, and am a firm believer that if people are sad it is because they want to be sad. So... Even though I don't live in Oregon with my dog, and I have a lot on my plate, I also have:
  • A cozy bed.
  • Shoes.
  • Food everyday.
  • An education.
  • The movie "An Education" for which I only paid 50 cents for.
  • Citezenship.
  • The gospel.
  • A temple recommend.
  • A mother who worries about me and loves me more than I'll ever know.
  • The Internet.
  • Cable.
  • A house.
  • All my limbs.
  • Nobody has tried to eat my face. (FL cannibal, you know what I'm talkin' about).
  • I have a pillow pet.
  • I have great friends.
  • Who have the best sense of humor in the world. It is their fault entirely that I can't take anything serious.
  • Electricity.
  • Socks.
  • Lots of pretty dresses.
  • Health (corny, I know, but I think I crossed that line at "socks")
  • A very reliable and incredibly nice boyfriend who deserves an equally nice girlfriend, but at the moment, does not have one :(
  • And guys, there's a whole red velvet cake sitting on my kitchen counter.
  • I also currently have just enough money to buy/rent my fave movie, which should make this all better.

Although the thought of how many people I have to apologize tomorrow promises to push me right back under my covers, I will attempt to be positive, cause nobody likes a Debbie Downer.

P.S. There NEEDS to be a kinfolk event in Utah ASAP. ...and if I got invited, that would be cool too.

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