Ohmagaws. Update. I really shouldn't tell you this. I'm writing this at my mother's friends house (we had a barbecue with their families) I stepped into the ladies room (I promise it doesn't get disgusting). I do number 1 and flush (everything up till now is aces) as I'm washing my hands I realize the...lou..still isn't done..ya know...flushing...It's almost done but to make sure I pull again...AND THE WATER STARTS SPILLING OUTSIDE OF THE FREAKIN TOILET!!!! I stare in stupid stupid amazement (have I mentioned how stupid I am?!?!!?) in complete shock not knowing what the heck to do.
So I take all their cute candles off the top and take that lid off like if it was on freakin fire (you don't know how much I'm constraining myself from swearing) the water is starting to puddle on the floor, I just don't want it to get to the door because then it will seep through the crack onto their hallway! I start pulling and pushing things until it finally, by the sweet graces of God, stops. But now I'm stuck there pulling this lever or the flippiting flappy sinking of the titanic continues. I pray so much to heavenly father to enlighten me with sweet intervention so that I know what to do. Do I call my brother? My mom? AHHHHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAA!!!! DHASDKLPFJSDAKLFJSDAL;KF!!! finally I get it to stay with some toilet paper holding it up. then I manage to use up two whole toilet rolls in trying to absorb all this water on the floor while I'm doing this half crying half laughing thing. whhhhhyyyyyy??!?!?! then I hear the lou filling up again, I keep checking how far the water has gone. IT'S LIKE A TICKING TIME BOMB! I scramble on the floor begging that there will be enough toilet paper. Finally the water stops. I've managed to create a bay of toilet paper surrounding the water puddle (ocean).. I gather the courage and scoop it up into the trash can. (that now weighs as much as a dead cat). I try to dry what's left and wash the first two layers of skin off my hands. finally I come out of the bathroom and their little girl and her friend look over at me like "should we call 'I Didn't Know I was Pregnant?'" I smile and walk back to my laptop. then her little friend went in there! everything seems fine. she came out fairly quickly. but seriously. how am I gonna tell my mom I ruined her friends bathroom... maybe they'll figure it out. Ya know, when they find a wad of toilet paper in their toilet tank, or when they take out the bathroom trash and wonder if there's a baby in there.